Laugh at the table - don't go down to the basement for it

You don't have to be dead serious in a negotiation. A good dose of humor or laughter can make it easier to reach an agreement.

When used carefully and with care, humor can facilitate reaching an agreement.

Finnish researchers investigated this in the form of a comparative study of two real negotiation situations. The former represented an internal negotiation within a sales team. The business people should agree on an acquisition strategy in order to convince a specific potential customer. The second situation examined was the subsequent negotiation between the sales team and the new customer.

Researchers analyzed tapes of each trial and found many similarities between the types of humor used. In both negotiations, the humor was conveyed through tone and attitude, rather than simple banter. The nonchalance of the humor had an in-group quality, meaning the comments that made those present laugh were understandable only to people from that particular organization or industry, thereby suggesting a sense of togetherness. Even words or phrases that do not appear funny in writing seemed amusing due to intonation and expression.

Humor facilitated interaction between negotiators and helped "break the ice". Casual statements provided an outlet for the pressure to reach an agreement to which both sides were exposed. They created a shared reality, a connection. At the same time, humor defuses conflict situations, e.g. when one of those present expressed himself awkwardly or unintentionally aggressively.

There were also differences in the use of humor. The salespeople in particular held back with humorous statements in the presence of the customer. Possibly believing they would lose their authority in business. In order to explore the limits of what can be used, they looked to their superiors or the highest hierarchically in their team. They also laughed the most at his jokes.

The conclusion, however, should not be that you concoct or script jokes or funny comments in the preparatory phase of a negotiation. Rather, you should be aware that situational humor can be a good tool to loosen up tense relationships or moments and create a more pleasant atmosphere, which can positively influence the course of negotiations.

---

ISMAN & Partner is a management consultancy that supports national and international corporations, medium-sized companies and start-ups, organizations and institutions in complex negotiation and conflict resolution processes. Founded in 2015 by Calin-Mihai Isman, the experts for negotiation & mediation support managers and employees from the areas of sales, purchasing, M&A, contracting, HR or IT.

---